Heavenletters

Perhaps you do not have to mend yourself.

Perhaps you are the perfect you right now.

This is a bit much for one who feels so deeply and hopelessly broken, dear Author of Heavenletters. For one who feels a complete failure and ashamed of himself in so many ways.

But I confess there is much appeal to the idea that none of this matters. Not to be concerned with any of this, is that what You are saying? I feel it is, and my mouth drops open in awe. Why awe? Because this has been said many times in Heavenletters and I assumed I understood! I thought I knew what is important and what is not. No, I didn't know, I still took it for granted that life was about mendig myself.

How many tiers of understanding are there until you can say, "Now I know it's not about the perceived person at all."?

I also confess I would have liked a shiny and pleasant and successful personality. I invested quite a few years and bucks in that project. Even during my Heavenletter years I still tried to become something more presentable. It's hard to let go of that.

But I get it now, God. The message is to be all right with whatever is the case on this plane, and to remember. Not being all right with circumstances on this plane, you will forever remain too busy to remember.