Actually, dear God, I never

Actually, dear God, I never wanted a God Who is "someone else". It just never felt right to bow down to anything outside. Bowing down into, reaching out into, one movement of the same into the same, oh yes, that was what felt right -- but had to be wrong, for isn't that hubris? You seem to be saying my impulse was right from the beginning. Then how is it that I missed this for so endlessly much of nonexistent time?

But yes, I must have kept You at a distance by not valuing myself. I don't yet see how this can change, but since You keep saying it will, it will. And that broken record of old and ugly war music that is still turning somewhere will finally stop.

[Dearest Heaven scribe, I'm having difficulties with this passage: You are more inclined to think of Me as One Who Loves. You think of Me as a Great Lover and as One Who Loves, Who really loves, seldom. Why seldom when it is something we are inclined to think? Or is it: You are more inclined to think of Me as One Who Loves. You think of yourself as a Great Lover and as One Who Loves, Who really loves, seldom. Can you help me?]

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