Heavenletters

Ah, so You do know the human heart after all! What a precise diagnosis: Not risking to go where I long to be for fear it could turn out to be just another fairy tale. Not risking to find out the truth for fear it could mean a final and irrevocable NO after which not even a promise, not even a dream would be left. Clinging to illusion as if for dear life to avoid even the possibility of having the deepest yearning of the heart disillusioned. Driving past First Street again and again, heart thumping.

Yes, that is what I have been doing for eons, even knowing how foolish it is, even trying to tell myself I couldn't remember where First Street is (particularly since, clearly, no one else knew or dared to know they knew). A dread that is fed over decades starts looking insurmountable or like the edge of a bottomless chasm. It makes you always look for something else to do before you start climbing or before you jump. "Maybe tomorrow I'll have the courage" is what you tell yourself every day, half suspecting it may not even be about climbing or jumping after all. As it turns out, it isn't. Rather, it seems to be about simply anticipating another possibility and accepting help. It seems to be about simply leaning toward this possibility. "Lean" is my favorite how-to word in Heavenletters, as in expressions like "leaning toward" and "leaning into". For me it contains the whole of the no-path God is teaching. Not much has to be done. Almost nothing.

Thank You, dear God. There seems to be no limit to Your Letters gathering momentum.