Heavenletters

Marko, dear friend, I am asking myself as much as I ask you: Could it be that the factor love is not adequately represented in our reckonings? Or could it be that love is not a factor at all but the paper on which we write our equations, making it more unrecognizable the more we write?

Here's the secret, silent prayer I caught myself speaking:
"Dear God, give me some spiritually advanced levers and chisels and I will happily lever and chisel away at my ego and its many shortcomings until I'm free of unhappiness and have sculpted myself into a true uplifter or mankind." You hear the irony, I'm sure. You don't see the tears. "Dear God, please don't just go on telling me there is nothing to do but to love, let me have tools, at least until I know from my own experience that love is, in fact, the only answer. Love - You know I am able to use the word glibly without flinching, but as soon as I try to take it seriously, it starts hurting real bad. I will do everything.............else."

So yes, I'm still habitually and automatically looking for things I can do. They are getting more and more subtle, almost like something else, but they are still mere doings and taking me nowhere (not even nowhere, actually). What can be done (ha-ha-ha)? I really really don't know. I seem to be at my wit's end where there is nothing left but to trust that this is true:

I do teach you. I teach you now to feel the love in your heart and to give it.

Oh, if you had one tiny glimpse of the love that you are, you would sing it from the rafters! You would pour love by the bucket. You would leave more than traces of it everywhere. You would ladle great globs of it everywhere until everyone would be like you and begin to see love everywhere in everything, until everyone would trip over love, would dance in it, would revolve the Universe with it, would reach the Stars with it and bring them and the Sun and the Moon down to Earth and rise up with them until the definition of Earth and Heaven were one and the same.

There would be no disparity in love, no change in color, no smears, no tears, only love exultant, love exorbitant, love enormous in its silence, love resounding, love the only sound heard, love the only book read, love the only thing to see or do or be, love overwhelming in that no thought of anything else could exist, love so persuasive that even the thought of it doesn't exist, just love itself twirling, scintillating, absorbing and emanating, death-defying love, love clear as glass, love rich as cream, love abundant, love solely, just love, unadorned, heralded in the news, the only thing shown on TV, heard on radio, taught in school, baked in everything, revealed in every painting, in every note of music, in every word, in every heartbeat, in every breath, love tumbling, rising, reaching, touching, soaring, landing, enveloping, surging, love erasing battlefields and making flowers to grow, love the topic of the day, love effortless, effulgent, love coloring life in true colors, love on every street corner, doorstep, love knocking on every door, front and back, love entering through windows, chimneys, love walking through walls, love ecstatic, love branching, flowing, running through hill and dale, love, beautiful love crowning the Universe and the Will of God and all of it spread before your feet now. (#1481. Thanks, Jim.)