Heavenletters

With all due respect, dear God, I feel this is only part of the truth. It's not simply the passage of time that makes us sad, it's not the things in the attic, it's not the wrinkles. Sadness is not about the loss of things or people or places at all, I think. Nostalgia is not something in itself, as useful as a goiter; it's a symptom just as goiter is. The loss, the perceived loss, is really that of a state: the state of simple agreement with myself, of being at one with myself. This cannot really be lost, of course, but for the sake of experiment, I suppose, We agreed to pretend it can and actually did. Naturally, what I'm left with is the feeling of not being all right and all it entails and trails. I want me back. I want You back. I want to go home. That's what sadness really is.