Heavenletters

If time and space are not, then "where" is my "past"? I have a past, I remember it clearly, I have photos with dates on their backs. Either "time and space do not exist" is a mere metaphor for I don't know what or time and space are really different from what I have been thinking they are.

Memories have to be connected to some "real" experience or they would be mere delusions. My childhood right behinde the dunes on the North Sea coast does not feel like a delusion at all. And it definitely feels past, much more so than what feels like yesterday or last year. But if not even yesterday or last year is in the past because there is no time and therefore no past, then how can I cling to anything past? Where is that which I cling to, be it fond memories or sad and depressing ones?

Why do some Heavenletters™ use temporal expressions like "once" and "the next moment"? I suspect that's just a concession to our conditioned way of thinking. Conditioned? How does conditioning take place without time? And yet there ist this slightly hair-raising feeling that "no time, no space" (and, therefore, "no matter") is quite literally true. That's because Oneness sounds so very true. If there is Oneness threre can't be otherness or elseness, there cant be two, there can't be time, there can't be anything different from THIS.

It must be that everything past present and future is ... well I can only call it now although "now" is a temporal expression implying continuation. Instead of now we could say "present" or "simultaneously present". And what our experienced reality consists of depends on how we look at the Allness of everything. What I see and therefore experience is not determined by what is there because everything "past, present and future" is right before me now. What I see and therefore experience is solely determined by my gaze which, by resonance, makes certain things stand out from ever-present everythingness (which, for the most part, is virtual or latent "until" lighted up by a gaze).

Sorry, friends, I got carried away. This may look like mere speculation to you and perhaps some of it is. But most of it is inspired by occasional faint inklings of what Oneness and "no time" feel like. Turning my head away from this screen and looking outside, there appear to be backyards deep in snow, smoke from a chimney, birds, and when I move my head, the whole scene seems to shift. What if nothing is there and it's my gaze that makes something appear? Or what if everything, absolutely everything from snow-covered backyards to lovely palm beaches is somehow "there" and my gaze simply picks out or lights up that which I believe is there, leaving everything else in the dark or in a state of latency?

I know that ideas such as these bring up ten new questions for every answer they seem to give. They are not to be taken too seriously, but I found that diving in for a seeming moment and then forgetting about this stuff again can be very refreshing and helpful. It strengthens your resolve to really really turn away from everything unpleasant or painful and leave the past, seeming or real, to itself because every fulfillment imaginable is right in the palms of our hands. Whatever seems lost, it is here, right here, eternally. Simply adjust your gaze.