Heavenletters

It can look like that, dear Emilia, I very well know it can and does. But it's not true. For myself I found that not knowing love is temporary and only because love is covered by something else. "Only" isn't quite adequate, I know. When you can think of circumstances where you would be able to love, in God's place, that means that you knwo what love is, only you think the circumstances aren't right now for it to blossom.

I do not know about being very ill, and I do not know yet about being old and infirm, but I know about many other challenges to my ability to let love free and follow it – disappointment, resentment, hate, rage, fear etcetera. All those "covers", I feel, are very close relatives of love. They show, as God puts it, that we care deeply, and what could be closer to love than caring deeply? Besides, caring deeply has positive expressions as well: Caring for animals, caring for nature in general, caring for kindness in our human dealings ... decency ... consideration ... environment ... healthy and tasty food ... so many things that have deep meaning for us and all show that love must be there after all. Getting up and moving again after deep disheartenment, that's love even if you don't feel loving at all, even if despair seems final, even if it feels as if you are doing it for "mere" survival. Even behind the impulse toward mere survival is love. It appears we can't escape it.