Dear Jochen,

Dear Jochen,

I am a person who is pretty "personable" but there are times that due to being empathetic, I get overwhelmed by over stimulation. My husband and I share a small house. If the TV is on, it is heard all over. If one of us plays music we BOTH listen to the music. When I start too feel too much intrusion, I know what I need. I need a sacred, quiet, me time space even if just for an hour or so. I bought my husband headphones for the music, and I will share w/ him when I need my quiet time. We try to accomodate each other in this way especially when sharing such a small space together. Sometimes for my "me time" I lock myself in the bathroom w/ soothing music, a hot bubble bath, and cup of herbal tea. I know when I'm feeling the stress of too much intrusion, that I'm in a dangerous place within myself and I need to go and fill my own cup or there is nothing I have to give.

I know that I can be an intrusive person myself with friends, and those I love and care about. I tend toward "over" helping, and "over" advising. I never thought of this before as diverting attention away from my own issues, but I see clearly after reading this HeavenLetter that it is so. I sometimes feel triggered when seeing those I care about make mistakes that I made in the past. However, it is THEIR life, THEIR story, THEIR script! Who am I to think I know better FOR them? That really is absurd thinking on my part.

As far as feeling intruded upon by others and dealing w/ it w/o intruding upon them. Good question. When I lived in the city this was a terrible problem for me. Neighbors with children who make a lot of noise, neighbors fighting, loud loud loud music when I needed to work or study. My answer- I moved to the country and life has been so much more peaceful. Do you know what I hear in the morning aside from an occasional dog bark? I hear birds, I sometimes hear the train which I love, now and then I hear my neighbors children as they get ready for school in the morning but because it is not overwhelming, I can enjoy these temporary intrusions because I have so much quiet time.. to see the hummingbird visit it's feeder outside my window, and to hear nothing at all at times.

DesertRose
Our thoughts are powerful and creating our next precious moment

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