Heavenletters

Hello I'm new too, I wasn't going to post here as I couldn't think of anything to say other than hello I'm new too; I can't even remember how I found this website; I just left a message for DesertRose then logged out; then I stumbled across the page with the heading 'Life is willing you to raise it higher' and I was lead to read the words 'You are here to be seen and heard', and my response to that is?
Ok I will tell you what my honest response to God telling me that was: 'Oh God! Oh no! Oh please don't make me do this again'.
Y'see there is a little bit I missed out near the beginning of this post, truthfully how it should have read was:
....left a message for DesertRose, then logged out, then stumbled across a posting from Gloria saying about how not to talk about religion, politics etc that's ok no problem, but then I see.... not to help people; then my thought was Oh no,oh I did it again!!!! ...... then I saw the intro forum for newbies and again had the thought I don't have anything to say. Then found the 'Life is willing you...... ' page.
Y'see God just most often has me 'responding' to people; hence my 'Oh God Oh no not again! I'm not at all good at NOT helping others; God propels me, it's just natural to give whatever will help at that time. I read somewhere once, that God works through us, that we are the instruments.
I just deleted what I'd written next as I was told rather strongly that I 'MUST NOT' apologise for helping people.
As I sit here now feeling rather fed-up and sad as to what I am supposed to do and not do (other people's approval!!), i am being gently reminded of one of Gloria's blog posts I read, which made me laugh so much; it's the one one where she admits she couldn't for the life of her, ever stay within the confines of a small box when filling in a form. At the time I read it I roared with laughter, as I am utterly the same. So I guess I'm just gonna say:
yup! and here is another one waving hello to you Gloria, I too cannot for the life of me stay within the confines of a small box; it writes where it needs to be written, it helps, it says things, I is just what I is.
The 'human' bit of me has absolutely no hope and no faith in ever finding where I 'belong' and am 'acceptable', and gets so sad and tired of keep trying, but here goes again, another beginning. just have to wait and see i guess.
Peace and Light, rain.