Heavenletters

How I long for the state of no thoughts and vacancy of speech – and how much thinking and speaking this is again. Yet even only imagining "unthinking, unspeaking", there is some taste of paradise. And my mind abhors it. Grinding its teeth, it doggedly keeps grinding out thoughts. Even in moments or near-silence, it comments: "I am almost silent."

This is about spontaneity, and spontaneity, it seems, is still considered dangerous, exposing this precious self too much.

I think it's all right that way. It makes me realize what exactly it is that I want. No longer are there partitions. That's a good description. Looking at what is in front of me right now (desk, computer, pens, photos, crystals, feathers…) – if I did not "partition", if I did not allocate names and colors and purposes, if I did not identify, there would be God. There is plastic (keyboard) and there is wood (desk), and while I'm aware of both, at the same time I can forget about the plasticness of the plastic and the woodness of the wood, and there is Oneness seen by Oneness.

Believe it or not, I am speaking about silence. Paradise is when there is not a trace of comment, no "partitioning" at all.