Heavenletters

For myself as much as for you, Johanne.

Not too long, and forgetting, remembering, bad dreams, effects and "supposed-tos" won't matter any more. Love does not need its way paved or staked out. It is simply longed for as God is simply, softly longed for, and that is enough. Once healing has begun as it has in your case and mine, there is no stopping it. There are crises of doubt and disbelief, and their fright and pain are bad enough. But I was shown, as I'm sure you were, that what lies ahead is worth some trouble. If the love we sometimes glimpse turns out to be real and turns into our lived reality, what will bother us then? Bad dreams? Decaying teeth? Fear of not being able to finish this life's assignments?

The problem for me is that I don't always believe I will get there. That's wenn I tell myself: "Imagine love. Imagine being love. Anticipate it. For one minute, don't be realistic but rampantly pretend that love is here." And a dream too secret for even myself to know about until recently flares up for the briefest moment but long enough to know that what I don't dare to dream is real, whereas my nightmares only indicate that I'm not allowing my true dreams. They are really only one dream, and it's a dream of something I haven't seen in this life. Let's call it Home.