Heavenletters

You are the God of the Universe.

I cannot object, I cannot agree, but this was to be expected, was it not? The only remarkable and surprising thing, really, is how little I know about Who I am, how little everyone I know knows.

Only last night I found out (rather, was shown by a HL) just how deep the feeling and experience of separation and isolation reach and how, paradoxically, they came about as my attempt to avoid the pain of separation. It makes sense now that it doesn't make sense to ask whether the experience is of separtion from God or from Myself. All I can say ist that once there was what felt like a huge and final loss, a goodbye more painful than words or tears can say. It must have been my farewell to Myself/God, leaving only the posings and the posturings of little me as that which I thought was all I was.

And now there is waiting and listening, trying to see that nothing has ever been lost except in my imagination – waiting for this imagination to dissolve, waiting for listening and trying to dissolve, waiting for waiting to dissolve, expecting, any moment, to finally dare to sit down like the blind man in Heavenletter #846.

Strangely, I don't know what to say about this Heavenletter, how to call or describe it, whether I like it or love it or anything. Anticipation? Joy? You are the God of the Universe. It sounds so incredibly matter-of-fact.