Heavenletters

If something is bothering you rather than ask for the forgiveness just apologize....If you are sorry just say so...Father God,Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit you will never leave me alone even in times like this. I'm working on a clean heart with Your help and strength! I wish that I could just sit down and talk about it the deep pain, hurts and desire to forgive the person.

There is something inside of me that brings out the resentment when I hear her voice, I just want her to leave me alone, but yet...I still return to help her, take out on errands and love her. To me this is like a cycle of abuse that keeps on rolling. When I try to talk about it, she just denies anything ever happen and doesn't understand. That makes me so angry. I want to forgive and then she makes me feel so bad all the time through manipulation of other situations or circumstances. I always try to make her happy if I can.
" Let them be free of the it-my wrath". I really want to and I'm trying, but it get harder.

Then had another incident, I said something that wasn't right and it hurt her deeply. So the next day after praying about it, my regret and wanting to make things right. I apologized and asked for the forgiveness and she wouldn't accept it-totally ignored me and didn't respond. The other person in the room( who I felt that I offended also by her just being there) accepted the apology and forgave me openly. So I just moved on, still feeling hurt and wounded that I made the attempt to ask for the apology and forgiveness and say that I was sorry-but she failed to accept it.

So, how do I let the pain and hurt go away like a feather? I want to release it the wounds are deep. My resentment, anger and lack of validation in my life hurts--- deeply. "I want to feel that glance of the light-truly-asking for God's help in this area with the person..I want to say the person who it is, but I just don't want to in case someone reads this and knows me."