Heavenletters

This Godletter has given me a sense of awareness that I have some work to do, that is getting right down to the business of LIFE! It seems so hard for me and my God was reading my mind today after dealing with a bad bout of fibromyalgia flare-up and chronic fatigue for a few days this week, matter of fact, this week has passed me by.

I'm really trying to figure out what was I born for...trying to manage the fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, major depression, anxiety and now diastolic heart failure at the age of 47! Now labeled retired disabled..where do I fit in...I know that I am a child of God, I know that God loves me, I know that God has a plan and a purpose for my life...I just want to know what is it. I'm staying strong for my son who will be graduating this year, because his life has been altered since I got sick back in 2004 until the present. I thank GOD that my son is handling this all in a good way, with good grades and just loving me as I am.

I'm scare of the unknow, financially broken now depending on RSDI and long-term disability which isn't much, but more than those who do not have, so I'm grateful that I have this. I have my rental place now and a car, again I'm grateful that I can have these things in my life. I'm trying to not get into a deep depression

I believe that through my serving of others in the past has given me this reward and result of provisions of Gods plenty!
I want to light the candle, but I don't know what will happen it probably will not stay lit...I want to ask God a question, but I don't know what to ask....I've been through so much in my life and I just want some peace, comfort and stablility.

I want to continue to be able to help my Mom, Aunt and my Son when he goes off to college. With the progression of my illness, I'm afraid that my dream to own a business, home and new car will be just that a dream due to my health.
Yes, I know that's negative thinking, but that is all that I know for results..fear is talking; but I know better,,,,I know that God is able to do great things..can it happen to me????Yes, it can!