Heavenletters

 
                         I come as I come
 
Yes. And the only thing I can know ist that Your coming will be different from anything I dream or imagine now.

Seek to know Me more than a radical difference in you. Does that stop you short the way it does me? What am I looking for? What have I been looking for all the time my whole life? A change in myself. Gosh, You are right! For whom could my searching and longing be? For God? That's not possible. It's always for me.

Is ego, then, the final authority again, has it won again?

Are you seeking Me or are you seeking something amazing for yourself? Are you seeking to engage yourself in Me, or are you seeking some quotation marks around you? Perhaps you seek to see yourself emblazoned as "holy" or "divine" or "golden" or "enlightened" or "arrived". Seeking a description of yourself has its value, but the value is limited because adjectives and experiences are of the relative. You are seeking more than that. You may just have been looking for more in the wrong places. You may have been looking for evidence rather than truth, signs of Me more than Me.

One might hear some good-natured criticism here. Is this about ego and its greed and its allergy to truth? Maybe. But it's predominantly about something much better than anything that can be had or known or imagined. All seeking is of the selfe and thus for some quotation marks around myself. And it's all right that way. The quotation marks ego wants to adorn himself with tend to get bigger and bigger for some time. Or they tend to get more and more sophisticated. Possession, fame, power, happiness, health, freedom, peace, enlightenment, bliss, god... And it's all right that way. All known and knowable goals are, by logical necessity, goals of the small self. They aren't wrong. But there is something much better. It is unknown, and something unknown cannot be had, thank God. But if the quotation marks have become really big, I suspect they will drop away and what I "find" is ME. ME, as far as I know from some glimpses, is definitely not something amazing for myself. It is God. But words like "God" or "ME" will make no sense and have no meaning any more.