Perhaps You Feel Adrift
When you feel you are hitting hard times, or that your mood is dark for no known reason at all, know that you are cleaning house, just as you might empty a room of furniture so that you can paint and sand the floors to make the room as good as new.
Or you are moving, and for a while all your furniture and boxes are out front. You are vacating one place. You are entering another.
Perhaps you have already moved to the new property, and you are not sorted out yet. You have moved but are not settled.
This move seems as if it were thrust upon you, but you have been desiring to change, have you not? You just didn’t know it would be like this. Did you really think, knowing you, that you would make an easy job of it?
The dark mood is not you. First of all, it is transient. It is soot from the street. You will cough it up and be done with it soon enough.
You will get your new place straightened out. Corridors will be cleared. Boxes and furniture will no longer be in your way. You will have a chance to sit down on your couch and see where you are.
You may have had moments when you felt you moved to a lesser place, perhaps a tormented one, but now that you can sit on the couch a while, you have a chance to see how the light comes in the window and what a beautiful view you have from your new place. Perhaps you have moved into a high rise. Perhaps you have to get used to taking the elevator.
Perhaps in ascending, you felt barraged by all that you had to sort out and leave behind. Perhaps you are still carrying it in your mind. Perhaps you feel you have left some of yourself behind, which you have, and you are missing the good old ego days that you are disconnected from now.
Perhaps you feel adrift right now. Perhaps you are feeling more separated now than you ever have before. Beloveds, you just haven’t gotten your bearings yet. You will. Soon enough you will know where all the light switches are. Soon enough you will know your way around. You will find it’s not so startling to be in the new place. Soon you will notice the enlivenment of living here. Soon you will note the tune you are vibrating to.
You won’t even like the old music anymore. That’s what’s happening, isn’t it? You loved certain tunes, and now you don’t. For a while, you have been groping for a sense of balance, for the familiarity of it, the full-blown awareness of it.
Before you were unbalanced, but you were used to the imbalance. Now you have sea legs, as it were, and it’s taken you a little while to get used to walking on still land. This is transition. You are transiting. You are leaving old realms and entering new realms.
And you are resisting it. You are bracing yourself. Now Imagine you are in the sea for the first time. In order to swim, you can’t stay standing up. You have to let go. You have to practice moving your arms and legs in water. You are learning to float. You have been so accustomed to holding on, and now you are letting go of boundaries. Truly, you don’t need them. The boundaries never were a safe shore.
Now you are swimming in the ocean deep. You are the dolphin who leaps up. You are leaping up now.
In your state, you may feel like Alice in Wonderland falling down the hole, only you are rising, and I am here and I will not let you fall. If you must feel that you are falling, know that you are falling up, up into My arms.