Hum a Different Tune
So long as you put your thoughts on the trouble you are in, you will be submerged in trouble. There are other things to think about besides what weighs heavily on you. When you think in other ways, trouble subsides. It subsides in your mind. Even if the trouble stays, it has subsided.
You are given situations in life that are difficult, even more serious than marital difficulties. Certainly, some life situations are more difficult than others, especially when seen from the world view. And even in what might be called the most difficult situations of all, others have been in the same situations, perhaps worse, and still find happiness. They give happiness. They don't content themselves with misery.
Your surroundings, the difficulties you are in, play their part. And, still, there is happiness for you to find, for where lies happiness but within? You have accepted as fact that you cannot be happy in Situation A and/or Situation B. Find your happiness.
I will tell you something you won't like to hear. The situation is something you focus on. In its way, the situation is innocent. You may not be so innocent. If you are unwilling to change your way of addressing what ails you, you may not change even in a changed situation. Do not think that, whatever your problems may be, that they are the cause of your unhappiness. You are leaning on your problems as the cause. They are your fall guy.
Cease and desist, beloveds. Solve yourself. The difficulties exist, yet the difficulties are not doing all the moaning and groaning. You are doing the moaning and groaning. Difficulties in life are one thing. You are another.
Do not foster your difficulties. As you complain and emphasize the difficulties of your life, you feed them. Come back to love.
There are men who have worked wonders from prison. They worked wonders with themselves. They didn't keep on griping, no matter how unjust their situation. There have been mothers with all their children disabled, and these mothers know they are blessed to take care of their children, and they find happiness in their children. The mothers don't say the children have to be other than they are. There have been people ill and in pain who, even on their deathbeds, feel blessed and are a blessing to those around them.
Confess, someone in the same situation you are in, as difficult as it may be, is finding love to give in place of complaint. You may care about complaining more than you care about growing. You may care about complaining more than you care about changing your mind-set. You may protect your right to complain and to feel miserable over your right to stop complaining and set a different tone in your life and the life of those around you. Whatever your difficulties, you are the one setting the tone to your life. You are the one digging in. You are the one giving yourself over to the difficulties and saying they are the master over you. You are the one who is saying you have to be unhappy so long as the situation exists. And so you follow that tune, and so you steep in bitter juices and enshroud yourself.
You have a say in your deportment. You have a say in what grace you give to the world. What grace are you giving? Begin to come from another viewpoint.
Perhaps you have been blaming others for your own unhappiness.
First, stop complaining outwardly. Bite your tongue. Stop compiling lists of plaints and recording them out loud. Then it will be easier to stop recording your lists of plaints in your mind.
Stop complaining about Me. Stop holding Me responsible. Who is responsible for your attitude? Change it, and see what happens. The insurmountable can be surmounted.